Just one?

I swear, if I have one more 'well meaning' person say to me 'So, just the one child?' I am going to go postal!

Seriously. It's getting to be beyond ridiculous. If I have to smile sweetly at another stranger and say, 'Yes, just the one' and then hear their opinions (which I didn't ask for) on why we really should have another child, I  honestly don't think I can be held responisble for my actions.

There are a multitude of reasons why people have only one child. Maybe they met late in life and only had the chance to have the one before Mother Nature decided that was it. Or maybe, like us, they had so much difficulty getting (and staying) pregnant, that having one is a miracle, a miracle that isn't likely to be repeated. They could have adopted. They could have had medical issues that prevented them from having any more children. They could be a single woman who decided she wanted a child and wasn't going to wait around for 'Mr. Right' and used a sperm donor. Maybe they feel that they just can't provide for more than one child. Or maybe, just maybe, they only ever wanted to have one child.

The list goes on. It's the same as saying to someone who has 5, 6, 7 or more kids 'keeping the population going are we' (heard that said to a friend of mine recently. She was more controlled than I - I would have slapped the person for saying something like that).

I don't owe you an explanation. Our reasons for having one child are no concern of your's or anyone else for that matter. Yes, I would love to have another one. Of course I would like Little P to have a sibling - both M and I have younger brothers. But it's just not in the cards for us. Do I feel like she's going to miss out on that bond? Sure. But this little girl already has so many little friends and so many grown ups who care for her, that she'll have bonds in other ways. She'll have a multitude of 'extended family members' (sisters, brothers, Aunts and Uncles) from all our friends that she will never be without someone to play with, someone to paint with and someone to just go exploring with.

I have a lot of friends who are only children. They are normal, fully functional, funny and smart people who are able to have long lasting friendships and relationships. They aren't psychopaths, hiding in a basement somewhere plotting their revenge on the world because they never had to learn how to share with a sibling. They aren't self-centered and feel that the world truly does revolve around them. They really are just ordinary people.

So for the love of all that is good in this world, please stop asking people this question. It's not an 'innocent' question. It's a fully loaded one, and there is a high risk that it could very likely explode in your face.

You have been warned.

K

Lost for words....

It happens. Occasionally. 

There comes a time when words just aren't enough, or at least the ones I know aren't. See a beautiful sunset and it's more than just beautiful or poetic or inspiring, it's just, more. Lying out in the open at night and looking up at a starry sky, it's more than magical or awe inspiring, it's just more. Having your little one lying in your arms, breathing softly after having a rough day (or night) due to teething or growing pains or just being plain sick... there just aren't words for how you feel.

You can't explain it to someone who hasn't experienced it. It's like being relieved and tired and happy and elated and thankful all at the same time. 

And then there's the times you are lost for words because you just can't believe someone can really be THAT stupid.

I mean, I've had some silly conversations before - working in nightclubs it's kind of an occupational hazard. Perfect example:
                                      Drunk Idiot: 'How much is a beer?' 
                                      Me: '$3'
                                      Drunk Idiot: 'So how much is two beers?'
                                      Me: (after a large sigh) '$6'
                                      Drunk Idiot: 'So what can I get for $4?'
                                      Me: (after another large sigh) 'A beer and a tip for me.'
                                      Drunk Idiot: 'Okay. Give me a vodka and tonic.'

See. Stupid conversation. But the one I had today just left me totally dumbfounded.

Was with Little P at a store that will remain nameless (for the time being), and while I was standing at the check out line, the older person in front of me heard Little P say 'hi' so she turned around and said 'hello'. 

'What a cute little girl' says she. 
'Thank you', says I. Slight pause as she looks at what I have on the conveyor belt. 
'These are boy toys, you know that right?' 
Slight pause from me as I try to decide whether I answer politely or sarcastically (I go with the polite version). 'Yes, I know they are for boys.'
'So are you like one of those lesbian type ladies who wants her daughter to have gender equality and give her toys for both boys and girls so she's not forced into a gender specific role at an early age?'
Um, WHAT?! I'm serious. This is what she said, with the straightest face and the most sincere tone. I really had to stop and make sure she wasn't just poking fun. Nope. She was most definitely serious.

At this point, she's getting ready to pay for her items, so I decide the best way to answer her is just straight up. 'No, I'm not one of 'those lesbian type ladies', although I do have quite a few friends who are. I'm actually buying these for a friends son who has a birthday coming up.'

'Oh. Well good choices. My grandsons love those.' That's it. After that little rant, she pays, grabs her bags and walks out the door. Meanwhile, I (and the cashier) are both standing there with our mouths open wondering what the hell just happened. 

I made peace with myself a long time ago that I have one of those faces. People just want to start up conversations with me - anytime and pretty much anywhere. Comes in handy when you are a bar tender, not so much as a Mom. I have random people giving me unwanted advice and making unnecessary comments. Now, I apparently also look like one of 'those lesbian ladies'. Just one more thing to add to my resume I guess.

I'm thinking I might need to start wearing a scarf and large sunglasses everywhere I go just so people won't talk to me (or would that simply invite more unwanted conversations?).

Till next time, I think I'm going to just start ordering things online.

K

Mommy-ism #108: blue is for boys, pink is for girls. I say 'Phewy' to that. If Little P decides that blue is her favorite color and that she would rather wear shorts than skirts and play with cars and trucks instead of dolls, well then, so be it (I don't foresee it, but hey, you never know). I know it's something that has been around for eons (the whole boy/girl classification of toys business), but it's nice to see that boys toys like Lego's and girls toys like toy kitchens are now being made for both sexes. Maybe one day, the Lego's for girls won't be pink and the kitchens for boys will include aprons... just a thought.