Say 'aaahhhh'....

I'm not particularly fond of dentists. Anyone who's job in life is to stick their fingers in other people's mouths all day has always struck me as somewhat suspicious. But someone has to do it, and in the grand scheme of things, we all want to have nice teeth, so I see the need for them. But really, why would anyone choose to be a dentist?

Little P had her first check up recently, and apparently she was a real trooper (I wasn't there, I made M take her, cause, you know, I had to go to work....) and she 'did a good job' (one of Little P's favorite sayings at the moment). M was totally impressed with the dentist - he's friendly, knows what he's doing and isn't pushy. Which I guess, is what we all want in someone who is looking down at you and sticking things that look like medieval torture devices in you mouth for the better part of an hour.

I mentioned, purely in passing, to another Mommy who I ran into at a park later that week, that Little P had been to the dentist, and I was regaled with a tirade of how horrible her little one's first trip to the dentist had been. Normally this wouldn't have bothered me, but let me point out a couple of things.

Firstly, I'm not 'super friendly' with this Momma (she's a friend of a friend) so I didn't need to spend the better part of half an hour listening to her go on and on about this. And secondly, if anyone needs to spend some time in a dentist's chair, it's her, cause (to quote Donkey) she 'definitely needs some Tic Tac's or something because her breath STINKS!' I had a hard time concentrating on what she was saying and interjecting with the appropriate responses while trying not to faint from what was coming out of her mouth every time she opened it.

Tell me, how do people NOT know they have smelly breath? Do the people around them choose not to say something because they don't want to offend, worried that it might actually be a genetic thing that they can't really control? Or is it like when you plug in a new air freshener and you can smell it for like the first couple of days, but then you get used to it so you don't smell it anymore? Or do people simply just not care?

If I knew her better (as in knowing her last name, being a friend on FB or even actually just being able to remember her kids name) I would have worked out a polite way to point out that every time she opened her mouth I was getting hit with a very strong odor of really old, stinky cheese, and that maybe, for the sake of her own health (not to mention the safety of others) she should get that looked at. But I don't, so I didn't and I continued to suffer in silence. 

Thankfully, just as I was thinking of ways to cover my nose and mouth without it potentially offending her, Little P came over and told me she was hungry, so we left to get something to eat, and I was able to start breathing through my nose again without feeling like I was going to throw up every time I took a breath.

So, yeah, that was my afternoon. How was yours?

K

My Fair Maiden

I took Little P to her first Renaissance Fair over the weekend, and was actually pleasantly surprised not only by the fair and it's participants, but also by Little P's willingness to 'get in amongst it'.

I have been to 'Ren-Fairs' before, but not since living in Australia, and I have to be honest, I was fully prepared for this one to suck. Las Vegas does a lot of things well, but when it comes to certain aspects of culture, it tends to lack (I'm not saying it's bad, just that when you have lived in Melbourne, and New York City, you tend to get a little spoilt with the diversity and quality of all things cultural). But when it comes to hosting a bunch of people who are happy to walk around in costumes from another era (in the daylight mind you) and put on a show, I was quite pleasantly surprised.

Although, if I am truly honest, I will admit that the whole time I kept thinking 'Sheldon Cooper would be so upset with the lack of true authenticity that the whole fair has' (and again, if you aren't a fan of 'Big Bang Theory' that comment just went right over your head). There were giant beer cans atop of 'Mead Tents', people dressed in costume talking on cellphones and taking photos with cameras - he would have had a field day pointing out the in-accuracies. But I digress.

Prior to entering the fair, while waiting for friends to arrive, we saw Robin and his band of Merry Men (some of them appearing to be quite 'merry'), a King and his entourage including a Little Person dressed as a jester (there's a joke in there somewhere) and a bunch of people who looked like they would be more suited to being in a S & M bar than an Renaissance Fair, but hey, who am I to judge?

Once in the actual 'fair grounds' there were booths a plenty for getting your 'ye old wench's clothing' or for you to drop $200 on a version of a lute or mandolin (although he called it a violin - sorry, but you don't use a crank to play a violin - or a lute or mandolin for that matter), places to buy kilts, viking attire, fairy attire (of course) and so on. Some of the vendors were a little, let's say 'insistent' but for the most part they were friendly and happy to impart some 'ye old' information on you.

Baby girl wasn't real keen on the whole 'participation' deal - there were performers who would come up to you and start to interact with you (grabbing the stroller, going to hand you a 'flagon of wine' only to take it away, that sort of thing) - Little P would look at them like they were crazy and then come hide behind me, but for the most part, she was all for checking out the displays and just doing some good old fashioned people watching.

(Little P doing her 'EMO' impersonation in front of one of the camps)

Her favorite parts were by far the horse rides (which she was unfortunately too small to go on) and the Joust. I have a feeling if I hadn't dragged her away to keep looking at other things, she would have stayed and watched them Joust all day. We saw a band of 'Merry Players' performing the entire works of Shakespeare in under 30 minutes (that was my personal favorite) public floggings (who doesn't like a good flogging?) knights doing battle, Merlin performing magic and so on. It really was well put together.

(Take that, you son of a half troll)

(A little Macbeth anyone?)

The food was a little, well, 21st century. Sure, there were places where you could get a turkey leg or 'meat on a stick', but me thinks that Thai food, hot dogs, burgers and fries where not the daily offerings at the tavern. Speaking of which, there were a couple of 'public houses' with their own barbarians as security (nice touch). 

Aside from it being a touch warm and there being way too much to see in just one day, it was a great way to spend a Sunday morning. There were a couple of things that would have made it just a wee bit more enjoyable - having M there and my folks. I just know my Dad would have gotten a kick out of it (one of the things that suck about living so far away from family).

But there will be plenty of time for more fairs (one's that Little P might actually remember) and more chances to expose her to all the wonderful types of people that are out there.

So, till next time, tighten your corset, pull up your tights and get your 'medieval slang' book handy - it's gonna get 'ye old crazy' in here.

K