All I want for Mother's Day...

Is to sleep-in. To blissfully dream and not wake till the sun is fully up, the birds have been chirping for at least two hours and the numbers on the clock look more like 9:00 than 6:00.

Ah, sleep. That wonderful little friend that becomes so elusive once you have children. Indeed, it becomes something of a rare visitor - kind of like that friend everyone has, who is never around when you really need them, and but is constantly there when you just don't have the time for them.

Sure, as parents, we get to close our eyes, maybe even get in a few quality zzz's but true sleep, the sleep of the adult who doesn't have to keep one ear tuned for the subtle tells of a stirring munchkin, no longer exists. The sleep of someone who doesn't wonder if they will be woken up by a toddler jumping on them, or a child telling them they are hungry, or that their brother isn't playing fair, or that the milk is all gone (as in, it's all over the floor) - that type of sleep, it's long gone.

And even after they are old enough to fend for themselves, to get their own breakfast, indeed to venture out into the world on their own, you don't truly get that pre-kids sleep ever again. You will always, always be listening for the phone to ring, or the doorbell, or the sounds of your children gently crying. Because you're a parent, and that's what parents do.

I have no doubt that there will come a time when I will indeed get a deep, fully rested and ready to take on the world kind of sleep. I have absolutely no idea when that day will be, but I know it's out there.... It has to be, right?

Now, having said that, I wouldn't say no to lunch somewhere nice. I wouldn't even mind a pair of these earrings

or maybe these ones.

Or this Kate Spade bracelet is kinda cute too.

Just saying.

So, to Mother's everywhere, here's to you. May you get to sleep in, laze around, and just generally be pampered for that one day. Cause you know, come Monday, it's all over and you are back to doing the laundry, and the dishes, and picking the kids up from school....

Till next time,

K

It's a Fine Art

Having a few friends who are expecting their first child, I have all of a sudden become 'the guru' that they are seeking answers from. I don't think it's because I am any better at being a Mom than anyone else, I just think they know I will tell them the truth - warts and all. So, when they ask me what they should be ready for, I tell them the stuff that most people (and books and websites) have already told them. Then I get down to the nitty gritty.

There are some things you know you will have to face when you have a little one. Being sleep deprived for months on end. Not being able to eat a full, hot meal... again, for months on end. Being a member of the walking dead because you are sleep deprived and haven't been able to eat a full meal for months on end. It's almost a right of passage. But one of the things people don't tell you is that you very quickly have to develop a skill for moving a sleeping babe from one place to another, keeping said babe asleep. 

And it's not a skill comes easily either. Some parents never master it and simply leave it to the other parent to do the 'maneuver'. 'No way. I'm not picking him up. I'll just wake him. You do it better.' And while this may be a fact, it's still a bit of a cop out - it's not something you can just do - it's a fine art that you have to practice at. And believe me, I know.

When you have a little one fall asleep in your arms, it's all sweetness and light - for about 30 seconds. Then you realize you have to either a) put them in their bassinet/crib or stay that way with them till they wake up or b) risk falling asleep with them in your arms only to wake up with either a sore neck and/or back or have your arm fall sleep and then try to do the weird one limbed shuffle to get them into their bed. Neither of which is a fun option. Been there, done that.

Little P was always pretty good at getting to sleep - it was the keeping her asleep that we sometimes had trouble with. So much so that when she was a baby, if she fell asleep in her swing, that's where we left her - tip-toeing around her while she slept. And falling asleep in the car - most days that was a piece of cake. Moving her from the car to the crib, that was the tricky part. Somedays we would just take the car seat up to her room, and let her sleep in it. I'm not saying that's a perfect scenario, but when you have a little one, you take what you can get when it comes to them sleeping.

As she got older, it became apparent that I would have to take her out of her car seat and get her into her crib to ensure that she would get a decent sleep. This is where the 'art of transference' came in. You have to get their straps off them, get your arms under them, move them into your arms, carry them into the house (and in our case, up stairs), get them into their room, and gently, ever so gently, ease them into their crib. Usually while holding your breath and trying not to step on anything that would make a noise.

And, if you were lucky, you would get them down, get out of their room, close the door and (praise the gods) they would still be asleep. If you weren't, then the minute you shut that door, the crying would start.

I won't lie - I have gotten pretty damn good at it. So much so, that if there's any doubt as to whether she will stay asleep, M will look at me and go 'She's all yours'. Thanks babe. There are of course, some days when I'll think I nailed it only to have her wake up the moment I put her in her crib. And the little bugger will then be wide awake till it's time for bed, regardless of how much time she slept in the car.

As she's getting older though, it's getting harder to maneuver her into her crib. She's longer and heavier, so it can take a lot of twisting and turning on my behalf to get her down without waking. Some days it's too easy - other days, like today, not so much. But, hey, that's what parenting is all about. Taking the good with the bad, and having the ability to still laugh about it at the end of the day, even if that day started at 3am.

So, till next time, flex those muscles, warm up those arms, because you are going to need all our strength for this one.

K

I'm Baaaccckkkk.

I know I've been a little slack in the posting department recently, but I do have a valid reason. Last week and this weekend were just so jammed pack with things, that it was literally hard to catch my breath. And after a full weekend of birthday parties and play dates (and a lot of time in the sun) we are finally able to sit back and go 'Phew. We survived'.

Now I know I'm not 25, and I shouldn't expect to be able to bounce back from a packed weekend like I used to, but man, this having kids business is definitely designed for the young.

There was a time when I used to be able to go non-stop on my days off and still get up and go to work without having to 'shake out the kinks', but those days are long gone. And the realization that I turn 39 (the 'almost but not quite 40' birthday as it has come to be known around here) in a few weeks doesn't help any either.

But this weekend did make me think - would it have been any different if we had Little P earlier? Now, I'm not for or against having kids later in life; it's just how it worked out for M and I. And I have nothing against people who have their kids pretty much as soon as they get out of school (my folks did), but I really do think that our bodies are more designed to run around after toddlers when we are younger.

A very wise friend of mine once said that 'having kids is a young person's game. That's why, when in your twenties, you can party like a rock star all night and still go to work as if you had a full nights sleep. Our bodies are designed to be able to keep up with kids at that age. But, you hit your thirties, and not so much.' How very true my friend, how very true.

So, now that I have had a relatively decent nights sleep, and have my coffee on hand, I am ready to tackle the week (albeit a day late, but M's weekend starts on Sunday, so, if you think about it, today is our Monday, so I'm on track. Like that bit of 'Mommy Logic'?).

I've got some fun posts lined up for you this week - just need a little bit of tweaking and they are ready to go (I had hoped to have them done over the weekend, but well, you know, the best laid plans and all that).

So, here's to bouncing back after a long weekend like you are a toddler on a bouncy castle. Bring on the coffee!

Till next time, 'keep it real my peeps'. 

K

Mommy-ism #7: Sleep becomes like a dear old friend that moved away (to another country). You still talk from time to time but you don't get to spend the time together that you used to.

You are getting sleepy...sleepy...sleepy

Oh, for crying out loud, go to sleep!!

Why is it that little ones fight going to sleep so badly? The tears, the tantrums, the down right crankiness - it's all signs they just need to give in and sleep. It's like they feel they will miss out on something wonderful if they close their eyes. 

Sorry to disappoint you little one, but we really aren't that interesting. Know what we do when you finally close your eyes and go to sleep? We take a nap. Or we do the laundry. Or goof of on the internet. See? It's not worth all that fight to stay awake, it's really not.

I'm currently listening to Little P over the monitor, fighting nap time. It goes from tears, to pleading (Mommy, please, Mommy), to being angry (Mommy!! Mommy!!), back to tears... if she doesn't settle soon, I'm going to be the one giving in and get her out of her room. Once she gets to a certain point, it's beyond helpless. She'll be awake for another couple of hours and then pass out, exhausted.

I hate days like this - it just makes the whole day a big old waste of time. I can't do anything till she's had a nap - if I try and take her anywhere she'll be happy for all of ten minutes and then she'll want to do something else. Which will result in tears when I put her back in the car, to excitement when we get somewhere, to being bored once we get there. And then we repeat the cycle again. Her attention span when she's tired is like a gold fish - about three seconds.

I'm hoping that she'll eventually give in. The pauses between noise are getting longer, so fingers crossed she's gone down. 

And then, maybe, I can take a nap too. Or do the laundry. Or maybe start the laundry and take a nap. Yeah, that's what I'll do. I'm nothing if not a multi-tasker (and yes, sleeping while the laundry is running is classed as doing more than one thing at once).

Till next time, sing those lullabies, keep your fingers crossed and hope the Sandman comes to visit soon.

K

Mommy-ism #77: 'I don't want to go to sleep!', 'I don't want to go to sleep!', 'I.... don't...... want..... to.......' Yeah kiddo, you do.

I don't know why they fight so hard to not go to sleep, if someone told me to take a nap, it would be 'okay, don't have to ask me twice. Na-night'.