In my life I've been blessed with a lot of really good friends, friends that I consider more family that just someone to pass the time with. But I've only ever had a few, what I would call 'best friends'. Someone that I can pick up the phone and just 'shoot the breeze' with. A person who lived close enough that if I was having a crappy day, could come over, share a bottle of wine with me and make it all go away. Someone I could just be silly with.
I have that in M - and I'm truly grateful for the fact that I'm married to my best friend. But a girl needs another girl in her life - someone to share the highs and lows with, someone to watch bad, guilty pleasure movies with, someone to go to a really bad dive bar dressed up to the hilt and drink insanely girly drinks with, someone to just giggle with.
Whenever I feel I've found that person, something happens. I move. They move. I take a job that has different hours to them, they finally meet the person of their dreams and fade off into the sunset. Don't get me wrong - I'm still very close to those women who have come into my life and have occupied a special place in my heart for a period of time (and still do), but I would love to find someone who I could create a history with, someone who would instinctively know when I need cheering up, or that would laugh at the same stupid things I do.
Friendships are hard to cultivate in this city - people come into your lives for a brief period of time and then move on; careers change, families grow, time to spend together gets hard to manage, and before you know it, a year has past by and you've seen it each other maybe half a dozen times.
It's not anyone's fault - life happens. And I'll be the first to admit that I tend to be cautious when it comes to letting people into my life. I've been burnt badly too many time to throw caution to the wind.
But then again, maybe that's what I need to do. To just put myself out there and see what happens.
Wish me luck.... I'm going to go jump into the deep end.