Oh John Mayer - these words may be true before a lady has a baby, but once that little bugger has done a number on a woman's body, it becomes more like a foreign land - one you need a passport for.
It's funny. Just when you think you know everything you could possibly know about the body you have inhabited for many a year, POW, you have a child and it's like you are all of a sudden complete strangers.
Things that were once on this side are now on that side. Wait, what? When did that move over there? And gravity-smavity; kids do a bigger number on your breasts than gravity ever could.
Oh, and that flat plateau that was once your stomach (after thousands of sit-ups, crunches and miles and miles of cardio) all of a sudden looks more like hilly terrain with deep ravines than anything resembling smooth plains.
Add to that the suitcases that have taken up permanent residence under your eyes from the lack of sleep, the way your butt seems to have somehow changed shape (how the hell did that happen?) and the fact that when you sneeze you now have to cross your legs (we all know you do it) it’s surprising that women will time and again choose to have another baby.
So, even though you now realize that you really just can’t rock those tube tops and hot pants any more (thanks kid), you and I both know, that we will willingly, nay, energetically, jump into the role of 'pregnant lady' without a thought to our backs, butts, ankles and stomachs. Because in the end, it's totally worth it.
Ah, motherhood – ain’t it grand?
Till next time,