Sunday, January 27, 2013

Can I get a 'do-over'?

We've all had it happen. That moment when you realize you are suffering from an extreme case of 'foot in mouth' disease. That point when you make that mental note: before speaking, be sure to remove foot from mouth.

Credit - Google Images
Those times when someone exclaims quite cheerfully (and usually loudly) - 'You're pregnant!' Only to be told that the person is in fact, not with child. Or when you run full tilt up to someone to give them a hug only to realize at the very last second that they are NOT who you thought you were running up to and you have to decide to either follow through and hug them regardless of the consequences, or perform a maneuvre that resembles something that a Cirque de Soleil perfomer would do and hope that you didn't look like half as much a fool as you felt. 

I like to think it's just a part of being human. Just one of those funny little genetic quirks that we all have... some more than others.

A friend of mine recently suffered from a severe case of 'foot in mouth' at her eldest boys school. While waiting to meet with his teacher, she was bemoaning the current state of her body after having baby number 4 to another Mommy. The conversation had, for the most part, be in the 'PG' rating (stomach resembling dough that has been kneaded to within an inch of it's life, breasts now located somewhere 'below the equator', that sort of thing). Then it suddenly made a very sharp turn into an 'R' rating when she stated "and now my vagina is like two loose flaps. It's so bad that when I walk, I'm farting from there. I call them 'vagfarts'."

It was of course, at that moment when her sons teacher stepped out of the classroom. Queue awkward silence. Luckily for her, the teacher had a sense of humor and said, 'Kids, huh? Ruin you for life don't they?'.

Till next time, be sure to check your feet are on the ground before speaking. You just never know who will come around that corner.


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