Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Just one?

I swear, if I have one more 'well meaning' person say to me 'So, just the one child?' I am going to go postal!

Seriously. It's getting to be beyond ridiculous. If I have to smile sweetly at another stranger and say, 'Yes, just the one' and then hear their opinions (which I didn't ask for) on why we really should have another child, I  honestly don't think I can be held responisble for my actions.

There are a multitude of reasons why people have only one child. Maybe they met late in life and only had the chance to have the one before Mother Nature decided that was it. Or maybe, like us, they had so much difficulty getting (and staying) pregnant, that having one is a miracle, a miracle that isn't likely to be repeated. They could have adopted. They could have had medical issues that prevented them from having any more children. They could be a single woman who decided she wanted a child and wasn't going to wait around for 'Mr. Right' and used a sperm donor. Maybe they feel that they just can't provide for more than one child. Or maybe, just maybe, they only ever wanted to have one child.

The list goes on. It's the same as saying to someone who has 5, 6, 7 or more kids 'keeping the population going are we' (heard that said to a friend of mine recently. She was more controlled than I - I would have slapped the person for saying something like that).

I don't owe you an explanation. Our reasons for having one child are no concern of your's or anyone else for that matter. Yes, I would love to have another one. Of course I would like Little P to have a sibling - both M and I have younger brothers. But it's just not in the cards for us. Do I feel like she's going to miss out on that bond? Sure. But this little girl already has so many little friends and so many grown ups who care for her, that she'll have bonds in other ways. She'll have a multitude of 'extended family members' (sisters, brothers, Aunts and Uncles) from all our friends that she will never be without someone to play with, someone to paint with and someone to just go exploring with.

I have a lot of friends who are only children. They are normal, fully functional, funny and smart people who are able to have long lasting friendships and relationships. They aren't psychopaths, hiding in a basement somewhere plotting their revenge on the world because they never had to learn how to share with a sibling. They aren't self-centered and feel that the world truly does revolve around them. They really are just ordinary people.

So for the love of all that is good in this world, please stop asking people this question. It's not an 'innocent' question. It's a fully loaded one, and there is a high risk that it could very likely explode in your face.

You have been warned.


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