Sunday, September 2, 2012

And then there were three...

There's nothing like having a baby to throw your ordinary, everyday routine and your home into complete disarray. 

All the excitement of having a child is somewhat eclipsed when, several months later, you look around your home and realize that you have been overtaken by stuffed animals, toys that make noise (so MANY that make noise), books with talking animals and bright primary colors, building blocks and veritable mine fields of little itty-bitty pieces that are prepared to cause you no end of pain when you step on them bare foot in the middle of the night in a rush to get to your crying child.


So, in 'celebration' of having a little one take over your house, here, for your entertainment, is a list of things that let you know you really do have a child in the house (and if you have any more, let me know. This is in no way a complete list).

"How to Tell a Child Has Taken Over"

- Your living room is now the official home of all things fuzzy, furry and squishy.

- The space that your wine glasses used to occupy is now full of bottles, sippy-cups and other children's drinking paraphernalia.

- Your fine china shares it space with plastic plates and bowls that bear the image of 'Dora', the 'Disney Princesses', 'Lightning McQueen' or 'Spongebob Square Pants'

- Your cutlery draw also holds plastic versions with images of the aforementioned characters.

- Your office is now the playroom/craft room/final dumping ground for all toys that aren't in the current rotation.

- Your spare bedroom has become the new home for all the clothes and toys they have outgrown but that you just can't bear to part with (just yet).

- Your iTunes playlist now contains sleepy time music, which will, from time to time make it onto your driving playlist when you sync, thus providing for an interesting drive home late at night.

- 'Laundry Day' becomes 'Laundry Days' as you try to keep up with the constant changes your little one goes through in one day (not to mention having to change and wash your little one's sheets on multiple occasions during one day because they have a bad case of vomiting and/or diarrhea).

- Having a quiet meal at home becomes a thing of the past even when you employ diversionary tactics.

- You find yourself writing notes in crayon on colored paper because you can't for the life of you find a real pen or paper.

- Your collection of books becomes interspersed with Dr. Seuss, Little Golden books, pop up books and ones that make noise when you push a button (not to mention the ones that talk back to you when you say a particular phrase).

- You now have clothes for work, for play, for painting with your little one and ones that have mystery stains on that you really don't have any idea of what it is or how to get rid of it.

- That brand new couch you got before you had your little one isn't looking so brand new.

- There is more food in the pantry designed for little mouths than grown ups.

- You find yourself snacking on Goldfish or Graham crackers because you haven't been shopping yet and those are the only things in the house.

Should I go on?



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