That's rule number one.
And rule number two.
The same thing apparently applies to some 'Mommy & Me' groups. Weird huh? I mean, I kind of get the association (there are times when my body feels like I just spent the night at a fight club), but do we really need 'underground' Mommy clubs?
And I'm not talking about some totally cool version of a Mommy group where we have a secret hideout, with secret identities, and spend our time rescuing other Mother's from unknown attacks of vomit, poop and other nasty things.... Nope. Not even close to that interesting. Just a small group of women, who happen to be mothers and want to meet 'secretly'.
I ask you, what's so all important about being a Mommy that you have to create an underground version of it? Will they be plotting to take over the country? And then the world? Probably not. Will they be discussing the latest version of fusion technology and how to get it out to the general public without being squashed by 'the man'? I doubt it. What I do think they will talk about will be the best places to get Pampers cheap, which butt cream is the best for Juniors diaper rash and what the coolest pins on Pinterest were that day.
Unfortunately, I don't think they will be any where near as nefarious as some other 'secret' groups out there (Freemason's, Skull & Bones and The Illuminati all come to mind), but don't mess with them if you want your child to go to a certain pre-school (Just kidding. They don't have the power to do that... at least, I don't think they do).
And who knows, maybe 'Underground Mommy Groups' will become the next 'in' thing. Just think about it - to join, you will have to be invited by a current member and then be voted in by the other members. They will have rules and ceremonies, and will be overseen by the Grand Pobar of Mommies (she'll wear a cloak fashioned out of her little one's clothes, wear pasta necklaces created by the children of the other Mommies and carry a scepter in the shape of a rattle.... can you tell I've spent a little too long thinking about this?).
Hmmm, maybe I should be careful what I write. If they are like any other secret society, they already know, I know. And then they will know that I know they know. And the knowing will become so all encompassing that it will make our heads explode!!
Okay. Enough of that. So, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, Fight Club. So, the first rule of Fight Club....
Till next time, stock up on the Neosporin, Ace bandages and ice packs.