Seriously - what the hell is 'Pease Pudding'? And why do some people like it hot, others cold and others prefer it to be left in the pot for nine days? One would think that by the ninth day it would be a breeding ground for bacteria.
Or 'Rock-a-bye Baby'? I mean, if that's not a crime scene write up, I don't know what is.
I was recently given a book for Little P of 'Mother Goose's Favorite Nursery Rhymes', which I originally thought was so sweet. Then I started reading them. Yup, not so sweet anymore. For example, what is up with Georgie Porgy? Why is he kissing girls and then running away when the boys come out to play? And did you know that there is actually 20 lines of verse to 'Jack & Jill'? I certainly didn't (personally I think they could have ended it at 12 lines, but hey, who I am to say?).
Look, I know some of my favorite ones are a little out there. 'Banana's in Pajama's' anyone? And for those of you who aren't familiar with this one, here you go:
(I do apologize for the quality, but you get the idea). Why are they wearing pajamas and where do Banana's go to get them? Do they have to special order their pj's? And why do they like to chase Teddy Bears? And why only on Tuesday's? Is their schedule that busy that they can only chase them on those days? These are the things that keep me up at night.
I'm not saying we shouldn't be using these anymore, but is it really that much to ask to have some current ones? Instead of Mary having a little lamb, why doesn't she have a convertible? And why can't someone give Little Bo Peep lo-jacks for her sheep if she keeps losing them? And maybe Little Miss Muffet could be sitting in a cabana, drinking a Pina Colada and be scared away by members of 'Jersey Shore'?
Just a thought.
Till next time, keep an eye out for Banana's wearing pj's, little boys called Jack doing stunts on hills, and little boys with blue horns - you just don't know what they might be up to.