Wednesday, August 22, 2012

You can't handle the TRUTH!!

I've come to realize that there are three types of people in this world when it comes to confrontation:

- Those who can handle it.

- Those who can't.

- And those who say they can, but really can't.

I like to think I fall into the first category. I may not like what you have to say, and it may hurt me, but at least I'll know where I stand. Too many people that I know fall into the last category - think they can, but really, when it comes down to it, they really can't. They would much rather deny anything was ever said or done then deal with it.

At the end of the day, I would prefer the person who has an issue with me, take it up with me. At least that way, I'm getting it directly from the horses mouth (so to speak). 

When people rely on other people passing these kinds of things on (which, is really what they are doing when they talk to everyone else but the person they have the problem with), it tends to get distorted. Remember doing 'Chinese Whispers' as a kid? Where one person would say 'I have two lemons', and by the time it had gone round the room it turns into 'I'm Batman'. Well the same thing happens when you tell one person something, knowing full well they will tell another person, who may just tell another person, who may, at the end, tell the person they were talking about what it was the first person said, and before you know it, a simple comment like 'I don't see them much anymore' turns into something like 'They think they are so much better than everyone else - they can't be bothered to see us anymore'. See? And this creates a whole other bunch of issues.

What is worse, is when people deny they even said anything. Look, I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea (although why, is totally beyond me... I'm fabulous. But that's beside the point), and I know I'm not going to click with everyone (who does?), but accusing me of ignoring you just because I didn't get the chance to say 'good bye' the last time I saw you, is kind of ludicrous don't you think? And yes, I know that my parenting style doesn't line up with yours, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends. I'm not saying I want to spend every waking moment with you, and I know I won't remember your favorite color or that you just lurve Keith Urban, but that also doesn't mean that if I see you walking down the street that I will cross said street to avoid talking to you. Understand?

I like to think, that as grown ups and parents, that we are past the whole 'he said, she said' business of high school, but unfortunately, it just doesn't appear to be the case.

So, while I may not come running up to you screaming how great it is to see you, it doesn't mean that I'm not happy to see you. I'm just not that kind of 'screaming' person.

Are we good now?




  1. Love it! Honestly, after I had kids, things just aren't the same. Sometimes I think after I leave somewhere, "did I even say goodbye?" I seriously just have Mommy Brain but it doesn't mean I don't care or I'm not thinking about it. Yet, someone can hold a grudge about it. I have so many bigger things to worry about sometimes but deep down inside it doesn't mean I don't care.

  2. Love it! So understand. I've actually confronted a friend on this kind of thing but she didn't know what I was talking about. So when I don't call her that much anymore I'm the bad guy and she complains to our mutual friends. Problem with her strategy is that everyone pretty much knows she talks bad about almost everyone so it falls on deaf ears- lucky for me. Still ashame one can't sue a lay person for libel on this level... She's also oblivious our mutual friends are on to her b.s. and we all recognize her as having some condition. Hopefully it isn't serious. There was a point where intervention was mentioned but unfortunately it's impossible for one person to get together with her because she's always so "busy". I can only imagine trying to get a group of us together to talk to her... sad. But I can't blame her entirely, she learned most of what she does from her mother. You don't want to even know. I say not entirely because if I were to take from my mother, I'd be a halter-top, slipper wearing, truck driver loud mouth- whew, escaped that one! C u soon:)

  3. I SO agree with you. Don't talk behind my back, just come and tell me you have an issue with me.

    1. Right? Don't know why it's so hard for some people.