Friday, July 13, 2012

Live by the sword, die by the bullet...

I am going to prefix this one by saying I'm going to upset some people with this post. I know I am. My father and my brother would say I'm 'sh*t stirring' right now, and I guess, in a way I kind of am. But if I can't be open and honest on my OWN blog, then where the hell can I?

The fall out from my post 'One is the loneliest number' kind of caught me off guard, but having the support of you wonderful readers, has emboldened me to continue my quest of being open and honest and saying it like it is. So, make sure your seat belts are fastened, your tray tables up and in their locked position and hold on tight, it's gonna get a little bumpy.

Since becoming a Mommy, I have noticed, somewhat to my dismay, how many people I know and have met, treat what I do, as something of a joke. An antiquated notion. Not something an intelligent, modern and sophisticated woman should be doing with her life (that, my dear friends, is a direct quote). I'm talking about being a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM).

It's sad really. That in this day and age, there are still people who believe that women are only able to fully prove themselves successful if they can work full time, run a family full time and still look like frigging Angelina Jolie while doing it. That to be a SAHM is, and again I quote, 'demeaning to all women'.

This just p*sses me off. Extremely. I want to slap the people who say these things till sense comes to them. Anyone, male or female, who chooses to stay home and raise their children, as far as I am concerned, deserves to be treated with the same respect you would give to anyone who works hard for a living - whether it be driving a cab, building houses, answering phones or working the floor at Wall Street. Being a stay at home parent is not a punishment. You are not a failure at life because you choose to do so.

Granted, I know there are a lot of parents out there that would love to be able to stay home with their kids, but financial constraints prevent them from doing so. I consider myself lucky to be able to be a SAHM, I sincerely do. And I thank my lucky stars everyday that I have the ability to do so. On the other side of the coin, I know a lot of parents out there that just couldn't do it. It's 'not their thing'. And I do not mean this in a condescending or mean way at all. It's just a simple fact that some parents like to have their 'grown up' time and relish the thought of going to work to be able to interact with other grown ups. I get it, I really do. I know several Mommies like that. A good friend of mine is amazed at how I could 'give it all up' to be with Little P every day. And I don't know how she can go work 12 hour days and not see her little one during that time (he's the same age as Little P).

I don't feel like I gave anything up to stay at home. Quite the opposite. I feel like I gained a lot. And I don't miss out on 'grown up' time. That's what play groups are for people. I talk to grown ups every single day. A great variety of them actually. Moms and Dads from all walks of life. And Little P gets to interact with other kids, of all ages. How can that not be rewarding?

So please, don't judge someone by what they choose to do. And for for all that is good in this world, please don't make an ignorant comment about it. Please. I can't tell you the number of times I've had someone say 'Oh, you are JUST at stay at home mom'. 'JUST' doesn't come into it. And you don't know me; you don't know what my days consist off. I don't say to you 'Oh your just a tax attorney'. I have no doubt you take pride in what you do - so do I.

Being a good parent isn't about what you do for a living. It's about caring for your child. That's it.  

Whether you are a stay at home parent, or a working one - the world needs both. It can just do without the ignorance of one for the other.

Till next time.....


Mommy-ism #1: That moment when they put your little one in your arms for the very first time; your heart skips a beat, you hold your breath and you realize, 'we created a little person'. And then you think, 'holy crap, what do we do now? When do you feed them? Change them? Hold them?'. And the panic sets in.... Of course, the panic is only fleeting, and the surge of love takes over.

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