Sunday, July 22, 2012

Friends with benefits.

That got your attention didn't it? Well just to clarify, I don't mean friends with those kinds of benefits. I am referring to having friends who open their home up to me and Little P and take her for a little while. Friends who reach out for her while at the same time handing me a glass of wine. And friends with kids. Little kids. Kids that can play with Little P and keep her entertained and distracted for a good hour. Friends with little kids that enable me to get my head together for a oh so brief moment in time. Friends who remind me it's okay to not do everything perfect when it comes to being a parent. Friends who kindly prod me to remember that you are gonna make mistakes. That it's the mistakes that make us, in the end, the interesting people that we become.

I am so very thankful for all my friends in my life.

As a kid you don't really see your parents as 'people'. They are 'Mom' (or 'Mum') and 'Dad'. As you get older, you understand that they have feelings, needs and wants, dreams and wishes, just like you, but I don't think you really get it till you become a parent. And all of a sudden, it hits you. You are someone's Mom or Dad.

Then it happens. When people introduce you to others, you are so & so's Mom. You won't be you, you'll be a MOM. It kind of freaks me out (only a little but still). I mean, I remember meeting friends parents and they were always Mrs. Jones, or Mr. K (and on the rare occasion, it was their first name, when like my parents, they always felt OLD if they were called Mr or Mrs). And now I'm that person. When teachers meet me, I'm going to be Little P's mother. When parents of her friends meet me, I'm going to be Little P's Mom. But when Mommies in my Mommy Groups meet me, I'm just Kelly, who happens to have a little girl. It's nice, you know?

For a small moment each day, I get to be me. I'm still Little P's Mom, still M's wife, but I'm also ME, and I really, really appreciate that. 

It's funny. You worry about 'losing' you when you become a parent. People tell horror stories about not having any part of who they really are left after becoming a Mommy or a Daddy. But I don't think that's the case. I think you just kind of adapt. You are still you, just a different version of you. And having friends who see you for who you are and not the 'title' you hold helps, a lot. 

So, to all my wonderful friends; whether you have little ones running underfoot, or bigger ones trying to stay hidden. Whether you have a lot of kids or none at all.... thank you. Thank you for being my friend, regardless of my station in life. 

Till next time, keep the benefits coming.


Mommy-ism #101: never take for granted those around you. And I'm not just talking family. I mean everyone who helps you get through the day. Whether it be good friends, or someone you just met. Or the kid who helped get your groceries to the car while you tried to calm down a cranky baby. Or the woman at the store who let you go ahead of her because your little one was getting restless. Your significant other, whether it be a husband or a wife, boyfriend or girlfriend or best friend, for just letting you vent when you need to and giving you a shoulder to cry on without thinking twice about it. And your little one. Who gives you hugs when you don't ask for them, kisses when you least expect it and holds your hand just because. Never, ever take them for granted. Because moments like these are all too fleeting.

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